Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year everyone!!  May this year bring you Love, Joy, Happiness, Wealth, Wellness, Health, and anything else you want!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Weigh in

I weighed myself today.  I am down 4lbs.  Thank you Slimpods!!!

Technically here is what happened.  The first week my weight went up 2lbs.  Since then (even with Christmas) I am down 4lbs. over all.

I am feeling really good about things.  We will see if I get to my goal of 14lbs by Jan. 24, 2012

Monday, December 26, 2011

Day after Christmas/Boxing Day

Thankfully, it is the day AFTER Christmas and life can get back to normal.  I really didn't over eat at all yesterday but I did have some gluten free goodies.  Not too many goodies at all (thank you Slimpods) but now I am feeling sick as a dog for having eaten grains.  I feel like I have a hang over.

I hope you all had a great holiday yesterday and had a lot of fun!

But, now it is time to get back to my goals.  Today one of the our friends, Joe, from the dojo is coming over to run kata with us.  I am looking forward to this because I am hoping some exercise will help me to feel better.  I also want to get my diet back on track to being really healthy again.  We have one last family event coming up for New Years Day but hopefully I can avoid eating junk that day.  It is less expected by people to eat not so healthy food that day as there is on Christmas.

So, like I said time to get back to my goals.  Hope you are getting back to yours!!!

Saturday, December 24, 2011


Just wanted to wish everyone who comes here a Merry Christmas.  All of your support and love has been so wonderful since I started on this journey.  I appreciate all of your comments and well wishes.  Have a wonderful holiday and enjoy yourselves!!!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

karate stuff

I've been working a lot this week on a kata called Seisan. Hopefully, I have made progress.  I am feeling better about it but we will see.  This week was the first week in a long time that I have felt good about my progress.  It was really exciting.
Can't wait to be in the dojo on Saturday morning.  Looking forward to seeing everyone!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

weigh in

Ok, here is the truth. I couldn't resist and I weighed myself yesterday.  I am up 2lbs.
This really confussed me because have been eating so much less.  I am really not kidding, I am seriously eating half of what I used to eat.  So, I started thinking about why my weight would have gone up.  I really do believe the MP3 is working for me.  My attitude is very positive and my ability to eat less/exercise more has really increased.  But, I realized that since Sunday what I have been eating hasn't been as healthy as it could be.  I have to accept the fact that even if I am eating very small portions I still can't eat certain foods often.  Milk products are the major culprit for me.  My cheese intake dramatically increased since Sunday.  And, actually, if I am honest with myself I don't feel the best from it.  Don't get me wrong, a slice of cheese or some cream in my coffee won't hurt me but I can't do both in one day.  Again, if I am honest with myself, I was eating more dairy products than  the example I just gave.  So, now I am just going to aim to do better and see what the scale says next week.  I am determined to keep going with the MP3 for the full 42 days (until around Jan.  24).  Wish me luck!

Saw a girlfriend today whom I haven't seen in two weeks.  I had on the exact same outfit that she last saw me in.  She asked if I had lost 20lbs. because I look smaller then when she last saw me.  She wasn't kidding, I checked-lol.  My husband also commented that my body looked smaller to him last night.  And, my jeans are a little baggy.  These are new jeans I bought about a month ago so I wouldn't have expected them to be at all baggy.  While my weight is not reflecting a change on the scale, it seems my body is changing for the better.  Tonight I am going to measure myself so I can track those changes.  Not depending on the scale for positive feed back would be a good thing!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Dec. 20, 2011

I don't have a ton to write about but the little I do have is good.
The MP3 from seems to really be making the difference.  I have consistently been eating half of what I used to since I started listening last Thursday.  I won't weigh myself until this Thursday (they recommended only weighing yourself once a week) so I don't have any number to report.  But, I am noticing how different my attitude is about eating less.  I literally look for ways to eat less now.
 Also, I am exercising all of the time, mostly just walking and practising my karate stuff.  The difference is that I really want to get out and walk every day.  Before it just seemed like something on my "to-do" list.  Now it feels like a treat.  I've also been spending a lot of time trying to master a sumo stance in karate.  I feel kinda dumb doing it but I spend a lot of time walking around the living room in sumo and then transitioning into a "hip shift".  I guess what I am trying to say is that I am just a lot more active since I started listening to the MP3 and I am grateful.

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Dec. 17, 2011

7 a.m.-Best way that I can think of to celebrate our 12th anniversary is to spend it in the dojo!  Looking forward to working through Seisan.  Hope to see some friends there as well!

4:19 p.m.-I had a good day at the dojo today.  Sensei was really helpful to me and I feel like I am on the correct path for improving.  Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of work to do.  My legs are not very strong at the moment and that is holding me back in almost every aspect of karate.  So, now I need to walk around the house in sumo stance as often as possible, as well as, break out my kettlebells in order to help leg strength.  But, at least now I see a way forward.

I am also noticing that the MP3 is helping my attitude even with karate.  I find myself not getting nearly so frustrated.  Instead I just feel the desire to keep working hard until I get to my goal.  Just that would be a huge help in my life.  But, I am also hoping it helps me get the weight off as well. On that note, this is day three of eating half of everything on my plate.  I find that totally amazing and am praying it continues!!

Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday, December 16, 2011

The hypnosis MP3 from Thinking Slimmer seems to be working well.  I barely ate anything yesterday and my time and energy was put towards improving my kata instead of obsessing over dieting.  In fact, I feel so focused on my karate and improving my kata that I had nightmares about it last night.

My husband has been trying to help me improve one particular kata called "Seisan".  Yesterday I thought I had started really correcting the things that Sensei had asked me to improve.  But, in my dream I messed it up over and over again.  Guess I know what I will be working on today.  Is it normal to have performance anxiety over karate?

Quick update-
This MP3 is doing some major things.  After I wrote the above post I went out for a walk before I ate breakfast.  That is new and different behavior for sure.

My husband and I went out for lunch today to celebrate our 12th anniversary.  I look forward to this lunch all year.  I was ravenous before we went.  I order a cheeseburger (no bun), fries, side of cole slaw and a margarita.  I ate the cheeseburger that had a ton of veggies on it.  But, I only ate half the fries (if that) and half the cole slaw.  That is a big deal for be because growing up at my house we were all members of the "clean plate club" and I feel guilty wasting food.  Being able to leave any food on my plate is a huge accomplishment for me.  I didn't "waste" the burger because it may take a while to shake the "don't waste meat" programming.  And, of course I didn't waste the margarita.  I have one drink a year and this is it.  My husband noticed how slowly I was eating vs. my normal rate.  And, the feeling of fullness hit me like a ton of bricks.  Normally I can't feel when I am full.  I have spent years working the Paul Mckenna "I can't make you thin" program trying to figure out what full feels like (not to put Mr. McKenna's work down in anyway. It just hasn't really worked for me).  For some reason, the Thinking Slimmer Thinpod programming seems to be working differently than any other hypnosis program I have ever tried.  I felt full in a way I have never felt it before and there was no mistaking this for full.  Hopefully, this will all continue.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Thinking Slimmer Weight Loss Page on Facebook

This is just a very brief posting.  Today I was able to download the MP3's from the hypnosis company I have been talking about the last few days.  As soon as I am done writing this post I am going to listen to the download for the first time.  So far, dealing with this company has been great.  Their website is full of great information and is very easy to navigate.  And, the people there have been wonderful (I even had a problem with email yesterday that they patiently went through with me).

You can download a FREE "getting through the holiday without gaining weight" MP3 for yourself.  All you have to do is "like" their Facebook page (search for Thinking Slimmer Weight Loss Page) and then find the link (it is in a post from 24 hours ago) to get your free download.  I hope you take advantage of this opportunity!!!

I am now off to listen to my "drop two jean sizes or more" MP3.  Wish me luck!!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Thinking Slimmer Slimpods

I just had a wonderful  conversation with the people at Thinking Slimmer Slimpods.  They are kind enough to allow me to try their product.  I will let you know when I receive the "slimpod" (audio program) and I will be using it for several weeks if not months.  It sounds like exactly what I have been hoping and praying for so wish me luck!!!  I am very excited to try this.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Weight Watchers and hypnosis

OK, truth time, I am not doing so great with Weight Watchers.  There is something about tracking points that freaks me out.  I have no idea why.  I've been trying to intuitively eat more than count points and it has been going OK.

Yesterday I read a really interesting article about a new line of hypnosis CDs from the UK that seem to be really working for people over there.

I reached out to the company last night to see if I could preview the program for the U.S. market.  I got an email back this morning and we are going to discuss it.  Hopefully I will soon be able to tell you all about it.  I truly believe that weight issues are all in your head.  Somehow you get bad programming in your brain that you need to reprogram.  These CDs seem to have a great track record in the U.K. for helping people overcome these issues.  And, apparently, the on-line store can handle U.S. currency.  The CD/Downloads would cost about $35.00.  Not a bad price!  So, I will let you all know what happens.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Totally frustrated

So, my dear husband dutifully spent the weekend trying to fix the treadmill.  While it works fine for him, when I get on it the treadmill just stop working all together.  It is rated for my weight class but for whatever reason, it just decided it doesn't like me.  I am super frustrated and not sure what to do at this point.  My husband says he is OK with getting a new treadmill but that seems like a waste of money if he is still able to use it.  I am really, really, really frustrated.................

On another note-to any of my karate friends who didn't get the message
Limerick Bowl   Friday night, Dec. 16 @ 7pm

Yes, Sensei, that means you are invited too!! :)

Thursday, December 8, 2011

karate stuff

One of my good karate friends from years ago, Ann, was just walking her dog past my house.  I ran out to talk with her.  This is the second time I've run into her in two months. I told her about how we are all starting to get back to karate and now I think I have her going back to the dojo as well.  Yay!!

My hubby and I are planning on having everyone from the dojo over to our house a week or two after Christmas (we ordered a new sofa in November and are just waiting for it to be delivered.  It is suppose to show up the week of Dec. 27th.  Once that shows up we will finally have enough seating to have people over).  Hopefully we can all get together and have some good karate chat.

I am just so excited that everyone is starting to come back and train again.  It is great for mind, body, and soul.

Quick update on my week- It has been going poorly.  I have had a small set back regarding my surgery and my husband had a medical procedure done this week as well.  Hoping to get past all this crap and get back to working out soon!  On the upside, my husband has promised to try to fix the treadmill this weekend:)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

A good video to watch

This is Dr. Singh.  He is no one famous.  But, he is an OB/GYN (so a board certified doctor) who decided to give some health lectures to his patients since he couldn't really give his patients the proper time during his regular appointments.  This lecture is specifically on weight loss.  Part 3 is where he details his plan. It is really simple and straight forward.  And, when I was a teenager this is how I lost my weight and kept it off for over 10 years (till my parents epic divorce and I started emotionally eating).  This is also how I have lost weight since my operation two weeks ago.  While it can be slow going in certain parts I think viewing all eight sections is worth it because you get a real feel for what the man is explaining. I hope this helps someone out there!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Please help...

If you are someone who personally knows my husband and myself, I have a favor to ask.  Next time you see him please encourage him to fix the treadmill.  Sometimes he needs a few people to remind him until things get done.  I don't blame him for not wanting to fix it but momma needs to get her butt on the treadmill!!!  Thanks!

Monday, Dec. 5, 2011

I was quiet all weekend because I experienced something on Saturday that I had to really think about.  I am having some major frustrations getting better at my karate.  It is a long story and I won't bore you with the details but it was one of those moments in which one starts to think ....I am 41 yrs. old and  I am morbidly obese.  What makes me think that I could ever become a black belt?  I should just give up now.

But, even though the odds are totally against me I am going to keep trying and working anyway.  So, today I am back to the grind. I am going to come up with a work out schedule and post it here.  Right now, working out and practising karate is more important than pretty much everything else.

On the weight loss front something really crazy is happening.  My weight is going down at a rate of about a pound every other day. It is so crazy.  I have no idea how it is happening.  And, I am not posting my weight loss amount yet because I don't want to jinx anything.  I can really only attribute my current success to two things:

1)  I am NOT focused on losing weight at all.  So, I am feeling zero stress.  The level of stress I normally feel over weight loss is crushing so maybe that has a biochemical effect that stalls out weight loss?
2)  Since my operation the only thing I really have wanted was ice water.  I am probably drinking 10-12 glasses of ice cold water every day.  It seems to make me so much less hungry and hydrates me.  It seems to be a miracle cure.  So, if you are having trouble losing weight give this a try.  It is free and it works.

Friday, December 2, 2011

Dec. 2, 2011

Took a day off the diet.  Saw my sinus doctor today and did something totally unspeakable to my sinus that involved a vacuum.  All I can say is that some 12 hours later I am still  totally freaked out.  So, I just ate whatever I felt like today.  Not saying I blew it.  I just couldn't be bothered with much other than trying to block out the memory of my doctor's visit.  So, there you go.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Dojo Alert

For anyone who cares, we are trying very hard to get to the dojo this Saturday.  Might be a few minutes late as we will be coming back from Allentown (helping dad out) but we will try to be there.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Weight Watchers.....Day 1

Today being the first day back doing Weight Watchers I thought I would post an article I just found that offers some interesting advice.  The article can be found on the Daily
The big advice is that if you want to lose weight successfully, don't tell anyone.  Opps.  Guess I messed that one up already.

"A study from New York University has found that keeping your diet a secret could help prevent failure.

The findings showed that those who shared details of their regimes with family and friends were less likely to meet their goals.

The researchers explained that the positive recognition people receive when discussing their diet can be interpreted as accomplishment. As a result, dieters are less likely to stick to their plan as strictly as before.Professor of psychology Dr Peter Gollwitzer, who lead the study, explained: "The danger is that you feel that you have already reached the goal and because of that you don't have to act on it any more'."
The article went on to say,

"He told CNN that dieters can avoid this pitfall in a number of ways.

'One is simple - you can keep your mouth shut,' he said.

'Another one is to form different kinds of intentions, not only say what you want to do but also when, where and how you want to do it.'

He said that by describing our intentions, we mentally map out our future, so are more likely to follow through.

The third solution, he continued, was to only share your weight-loss plan with a trusted few, who can help you keep on course.

Tara Harwood, a registered dietitian with the Cleveland Clinic, echoed his advice.

She told Fox News: 'You have to be very particular on who you choose. Make sure they are people who are going to encourage you and not hinder you and your success.

'So, you do want to tell some people, however, for the most part keep it to yourself and let other people gradually notice these changes in you.'

Funny enough, I have gone through this myself on just about every diet I have been on lately.  I do great until I see my in-laws.  The minute one of them finds out I am on a diet, for whatever reason, I stop dieting.  So, I will just keep my diet between us.  And, I am going to define my weight loss goals according to those four different kinds of intetions the article mentions.

Hope this helps and good luck to you in your weight loss goals!


Tuesday, November 29, 2011


It is one of those times when things are cutting both ways.

I am now on prednisone because my sinuses are not healing the way they should.  It doesn't seem like it is a huge thing (will find out more on Friday) but hopefully the prednisone will fix whatever the issue is and help me to get back on my feet.  It is 8 days out from the surgery now and I am not as far along as I thought I would be.  Mostly I am just exhausted 24/7 and I am having some difficulty thinking clearly.  Good thing I stopped all of the pain pills last Monday-lol.

While I am exhausted and still not allowed to get off of the sofa, I have lost 6lbs.  I am guessing it is due to my total lack of taste and smell at this point.   It is funny how not being able to taste your food really helps you to lose interest in it.

The other upside is that I found another protein powder to try.  It is hemp protein by nutiva. The local health food store is kind enough to sell sample packets.  I will give it a try tomorrow and see how it goes.  Wish me luck!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Nov. 28, 2011

The count down to December 1, 2011 and the re-starting Weight Watchers  (Joe, are you ready??) has started.  Today I am starting to work on getting organized.  That includes creating a list of points for all of the food items in the house and menu planning.  This part always totally overwhelms me.  But, if I give myself two days to get organized hopefully my level of success will be greater this time.

Since my operation I have done a lot of hard thinking about my weight, my weight issues, and why I have not had a lot of success getting the weight off.  I guess that is the one good thing that has come out of not being allowed to do anything but sit on a sofa for the last 7 days.  What I have come to realize is that I just don't believe that I can do this. So, any problem that has come up in my past weight loss efforts has been a reason to give up and fail, instead of an obstacle to over come.  What I am starting to realize is attitude really is everything!

Two weeks ago Sensei suggested a book to me called "Success Principles", by Jack Canfield.  It has really opened my eyes to the way I have been thinking about myself since about the time I got married.  That is when my Celiac disease got very bad ( I blame my husband's love of PA Dutch food but I can forgive him for that -lol) and when I started having all sorts of life problems associated with it.  Due to this I have been through a whole process of one failure after another.  Life has felt very out of control to me.  Previous to this time in my life, no matter how bad things were (with a very bad home life as a kid, having dyslexia and auditory processing disorder, and a bunch of other issues) I always knew I could over come a problem.  Some where along the line I lost my "can do" attitude and started internalizing an attitude of being a failure.  Well, I think I am waking up from that poor mind set and realizing that all I need to do is keep trying.

This is how I am going to approach Weight Watchers this time.  In my previous attempts I felt I had to be perfect with my food/points daily and if I wasn't I should just give up.  This time I am taking the long view approach.  I may not be perfect with points from one day to a next, but it will still be better than not trying at all.

I have also been really inspired by how Bruce Lee (see previous post) looked at food.  His wife said that he wasn't interested in eating foods that couldn't fuel his martial arts.  Since I am doing all of this to fulfill my dream of getting a black belt........well, that is how I have to learn to look at food as well.
Hopefully I am mentally prepared this time.  Wish me luck!!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Bruce Lee Diet

I have been doing some research into a "martial arts" type diet.  What I am finding is that in the martial arts, just like every other part of society, everyone has their own way of dealing with diet and nutrition.  But, I did run across one really interesting article on the "Bruce Lee Diet"

This is less a specific diet and more a set of 6 rules Bruce Lee used for himself, that could really create great guide lines for weight loss.  I will list the rules and you can read the article for specifics.  It is an interesting article because they interviewed Bruce's wife, Linda Lee Cadwell, for some of the information.  The rules are as follows:
  1. Avoid empty calories
  2. Eat less but more frequently
  3. Honey and Ginseng
  4. Balance your diet
  5. Drink tea
  6. Take supplements
Again, please read the article because it is pretty good.  Definitely some good things to think about.

I also ran across this article on how Bruce Lee trained that might be a good read as well.

Friday, November 25, 2011


Just a quick FYI
We are going to try to get into the dojo tomorrow.  I won't be able to do anything but I can watch everyone else.  Hope to see you there :)

thoughts on losing weight

I am once again sitting here on my recliner waiting for the swelling in my sinuses to go down.  But, today is a much better day.  I got much longer stretches of sleep last night and my sinuses feel a lot better today.  There is definite progress on the healing front.

I have had a lot of time to read weight loss blogs and facebook pages.  For some reason I keep coming across weight loss stories of woman who stopped counting calories or points and yet had huge success.  Instead, they focused on two things:
1) movement and exercise
2) eating when hungry, stopping when full.

I am 100% committed to really getting back into the swing of thing by December 1.   I just wonder why the universe keeps throwing these stories in my path?  Hmnnnn.....something to think about.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Hoping everyone has a wonderful day and remembers all that you are grateful for.  Today I am grateful for getting sleep last night and a mother in law who delivers Thanksgiving meals!  Have a great day all!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Gotta complain for just a minute.....

First of all, I have to start by thanking my awesome husband.  The man has been killing himself to help me out.  I am really grateful to have such a great hubby!

I am also really grateful that I have basically had no pain.  There is swelling, throbbing, dripping, draining, congestion, and zero sleep.  But, there has been no pain.

But, what is super annoying about this operation is that you can't really do anything.  Whenever I exert pressure on my head due to movement (like picking up my 15lbs. dog) it really does do a number on my head and causes it to start bleeding again.  So, I really have to stay still.  And, that is driving me nuts.  I also have to eat every two hours to keep my stomach coated. So, basically I am sitting on my butt all day and eating ......aghhhhh!! 

I know it is what I have to do in order to get better but it is really upsetting me.  Oh well!!  Thanks for letting me complain!

On the bright side, I am really hoping that tomorrow night I will be able to sleep in my own bed again.  And, I am hoping that by Friday I might actually get out of the house.  Wish me luck!! 
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


I am still in no real pain which I am grateful for.  But, my sinuses are totally swollen and I can't breathe to save my life.  And, this is really messing up my ability to sleep.  So, while I am basically fine I am exhausted and in a grumpy mood.  According to my doctor this is what I will be dealing with for the next seven days so at least I am on track.
Hoping that you are having a great day!!  Happy Thanksgiving!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tuesday, Nov. 22 -quick update

It is Tuesday morning at 6:42a.m.
Usually the first night after an operation is the worst.  But, it was a really easy night.  The doctor gave me Vicodin for pain.  I took them yesterday until 10 p.m. (truthfully I thought I was taking super Advil until I took the time to read the label. Once I did that, I was done with the Vicodin).  I slept pretty well last night.  I have no pain so far today and I have been up since 4:45a.m.  I am going to just take Tylenol if I get pain today.  And, most of the bleeding has stopped.  Truthfully the constant nasal bleeding has been the most annoying part.  So, I have to say this has been the easiest operation I have ever had (this being number 6).  I am really grateful!
This is probably a good sign, I am getting really bored.  I can't do too much physically yet because I don't want to bust a stitch (no pushing, pulling, picking stuff up for 10 days) but if I can get my husband to go for it, I want to take a little walk today.  I made my own breakfast and tea this morning and it was no big deal.
So, that is it.  Hoping you are doing great today!!

Monday, November 21, 2011

1:30p.m. on Monday

I am back from my surgery.  I was actually awake during most of it and the doctor said I was a "trooper"-lol.  But, I am really doing well and hopefully in 5 days I will be back to a pretty normal life.  Hope you are all doing well today!!!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

perfection vs. perfectibility

I had another great dojo day.  I love being there. I love the people there.  I love what I learn there.  What I don't like is how frustrated I get occasionally because I am slow to learn at times.

Today I asked Sensei how he deals with frustration. I meant this in relation to trying to perfect Kata.  His response was that he just realizes that eventually he will get things.  He said if you keep working at it eventually it will get where you want it to be.

This answer kinda shocked me.  Here is what stood out to me: his level of relaxation about having problems getting something right, his confidence in his ability to solve a problem, and how he didn't seem too worked up when I wasn't getting things right.

This level of stress free confidence is just not how I live my life.  I am more of the "get it right the first time or quit" kind of person.  Observing Sensei's attitude really made an impression on me.

My dad has a saying "perfection vs. perfectibility".  Truthfully he says this because he is a college art professor and it sounds cool in a Zen loving "Beat generation" kind of way.  But, truthfully in our family the rule was be perfect the first time or give up an abject failure.  This is an issue my husband is always talking to me about.  He is constantly trying to help me realize that most of my problems in life come from this attitude.  So, it was kinda great today to watch Sensei do Kata which looks so perfect and realize that how it got there was down to his willingness to start out imperfect and work some 30-40 years to make it perfect.

Then Sensei brought up my constant need to weigh myself.  He explained that it takes 30-90 days to figure out if something is working for your body.  And, that I really shouldn't be weighing myself more than once a month.  That made me really think.  Our friend Joe and I are probably going to re-start doing Weight Watchers around December 1.  This time I am really going to try to focus on establishing long term good habits vs. quick weight loss.  Also, I am going to limit weighing myself to once a month to see what happens.  Maybe I can finally learn to invest in  the process of perfecting things instead of being all upset because I am not perfect.

Friday, November 18, 2011

Playing hooky

On Saturday I am suppose to be at a craft show/community yard sale that my mother and sister-in-law organized at our local fire house.  I am suppose to be there all morning but I have decided to rebel and skip out in time to get to karate.  My husband is awesome because he said he is willing to stay behind at the craft show so I can get to the dojo. 
So Joe, if you are reading this, I am hoping that I might see you there!

My blog might be down until after Thanksgiving.  According to the nurse I am not allowed to do anything physical for 10 days after my operation.  That brings me to December 1.  Hopefully I will be able to start walking after a few days.  I can't imagine what sitting on my butt for ten days would do to my progress but that is another story.

So, everyone have a great Thanksgiving, enjoy your holiday, and good luck in your goals!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Novemember 16, 2011

Well, I guess it is really going to happen.  I got the call today from the nurse to go over information for my surgery on Monday, Nov. 21.   I asked the nurse about recovery time, she gave the impression that the first five days are pretty intense.  I asked her how bad it really was?  I explained to her that I have had 3 major knee surgeries and two other ones so far, so I understand that surgery is not fun.  Her response was is going to suck.  Ha.ha. 
I appreciate her honesty. 
Oh well, it is what it is. 
I am just hoping that my recovery time is short.

Ok, hope that you are all doing well!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

My ultimate goal

“Everyone has a spirit that can be refined, a body that can be trained in some manner, a suitable path to follow. You are here to realize your inner divinity and manifest your innate enlightenment.”  Morihei Ueshiba

A man I know owns his own dojo down south.  He posted this video because one of his friend's is training with wounded warriors.  People want their black belts for a variety of reasons.  One of the reason's I want my black belt is to eventually be able to do this kind of work.   To me, this is amazing! 


There are a lot of new visitors coming to my humble blog. I just wanted to say welcome!  Thanks for taking the time to read my blog! 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Vitamin B deficiency

People with Celiac disease can easily become deficient in the complex of B vitamins.  I have dealt with this all of my life, even before I knew I had the disease.  Generally it shows up physically as very bad anxiety.  Due to my operation coming up, I had to stop all of my vitamins. And, over the last week my anxiety was starting to grow and get out of hand.  I should have recognized the symptoms but it wasn't until today that I understood what was going on with me. 
(just in case you are curious to learn more you can read about it here)
It is also particularly important to keep up with taking B vitamins if you are on stomach acid reducing medicines (which I am ) since they also lower the amount of vitamin B complex that your body can absorb. 
So, the end result is that I have been feeling and acting a little overly emotional lately.  For those of you who deal with me on a daily/semi-daily basis, if I have been annoying I am really sorry!!!!  Thanks for your patience in dealing with me!!!   And, next time I get like this please feel free to tell me to go take my vitamins-lol.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

part 2

Ok, I wrote that other post  and I didn't really even get at what I was feeling inside.
I am feeling tremendous doubt inside today.
Doubt that I will ever get the weight off or get back to karate.
It is so easy for other things to get in my way. 
I have things in my way that are obvious like my weight and my physical ability.  Then there are the unseen things that get in my way and those things are what kill me. 

Those unseen things basically boil down to one thing.....allowing myself to put other things first.  An example is that  I always let family derail me.  It isn't like I have a child to take care of.  The family that derails me consists of a bunch of adults who really can take care of themselves.  They don't actually need me for anything.  It has always just been my job to take care of them and now it is a habit that is hard to break.  Even yesterday, I could have gone to the dojo even if my husband wasn't feeling up to it.  But, I just stayed home when I should have gone regardless of what hubby was doing.

The unseen things are the unconscious ideas you have in your life from which you need to break free: attitudes, habits, and beliefs about yourself.   A big part of me believes that I am always going to be this hugely overweight woman, trapped in this body, running around after people (family) who don't even really need me, and that I will live a small, sad life.  I think after all of the years of being sick and undiagnosed I developed this way of thinking about myself because I didn't dare hope for more.  But now that I am getting my health back and I have a chance in life, I have to work my butt off to reach my goals. I can't allow the doubt to take over.  I have to keep my focus.

We all have dragons to slay.  The first thing you have to do is identify them.  And, then  you have to come up with a plan of action.  I think in this blog I have identified my current dragons.  Now I have to come up with a way to slay them.  That is something I have to think about today.  I still have a lot of doubt but I think I can look past it now and keep working towards my goals.

I hope that you are asking yourself what are the unseen things that are keeping you back from reaching your goals? What can you do to fight them?  Now, go give that dragon a really hard time!!

Nov. 13, 2011

We didn't end up going to the dojo yesterday.  We had a pretty intense week and it seemed better to stay home and get organized.  But, I have to tell you that I missed the dojo and actually felt guilty not going.
(next week is the craft show and I am thinking of sneaking out early and going to the dojo on Saturday.  Not sure how it can workout but I am going to try).

My weight is still going down which is great.  But, I feel like I need to step up my work outs.  Not sure how to do that.  I am sorta frustrated because I am finally making some progress and wanting to bump up everything I am doing to the next level.  And, then the operation is going to happen in a week.  According to people who have had it you have to not exercise for at least 10 days.  That is just enough time to throw me off of my game.  I am hoping that 10 days is all it will be before I can start to exercise again. 

Anyway, I guess I am feeling really guilty for missing the dojo yesterday.  I will have to try to make up for it this week by working out at home even harder.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Friday update

So, it has been a crazy week here at our house.  Talked to my hubby last night asking if he still wanted to go to the dojo on Saturday is not looking too good.  He is exhausted and looking a little overwhelmed.  We are going to talk about it tonight.  Maybe he will be in a better mood tonight?
Anyway, other than that things are still moving in the right direction.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Nov. 10, 2011

Quick update-
The weight is still going down slowly so I am glad about that.
Half way through my week of family stress and so far so good.
Need to focus the rest of my time this week on running kata.

hope you are having a great week!!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011


I am feeling a little overwhelmed lately.  I am still getting the daily headaches (so I am glad that my operation in in 13 days).  This is making working out difficult.  Also, while the food journal worked out OK at the long run it didn't really make a huge difference.  Once again I am finding that employing intuitive eating techniques (i.e. eating when hungry, stopping when full and not thinking about food otherwise) seems to work best for me.  I think it is because when you use intuitive eating techniques ultimately you are responsible for what you put in your mouth, not some diet.  When you take 100% responsibility, things tend to work out better in the long run. So, for the next two weeks until the operation I am just going to focus on that.

I am also overwhelmed because I have a lot of family stuff on my plate this week.  Love my family but they stress me out.   Nough said...

We are going to try to get into the dojo this weekend.  It will be the last weekend I could get there before my operation (PS-God forbid I would die on the operating table but if I did, please have my ashes sprinkled over the dojo.....yeah, I am not kidding).

Hope you are all having a great week. Hope to see some of you at the dojo on Saturday.

Friday, November 4, 2011

This weekend is not a dojo weekend.....

And, I am really missing it..........
Oh well, hopefully next weekend.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Nov. 2, 2011 quick update

I am still using my food journal and I am still researching the Herbalife protein shake.  My weight is still about the same as it was last week (maybe down one more pound).

I guess you could say that I am under some stress right now.  This week I am having a different medical test done each day to prepare for my sinus surgery on Nov. 21.  I am still getting a daily sinus headache which makes me feel pretty stressed out due to their intensity (no longer allowed to take Advil due to upcoming surgery and Tylenol isn't cutting the pain at all).  It seems to me the stress I am feeling from it could definitely be slowing down the weight loss.  At least I won't have to wait too long to get the situation corrected.

The research I have done on the Herbalife protein shake is promising.  They have a line called "Formula 1, Allergy Free" which is free of the foods to which I am personally allergic.  It seems like one canister contains 30 servings for just under 40 dollars.  Not a fantastic price but if it is something my body can tolerate than I am willing to give it a try.  I will update you on how it goes once I get to try it.

On a side note: I want to wish our friend Joe good luck with his wife's surgery!!  We are keeping her in our thoughts!

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Herbalife anyone?

My husband's boss (really more his friend) has been doing Herbalife protein/weight loss shakes and doing PX90.  He has lost a tremendous amount of weight.  He swears by his Herbalife shakes. I looked into them and I found out that the company now makes a gluten free, dairy free weight loss shake.  I would LOVE to find a weight loss shake I could tolerate (in terms of allergies, not taste).  It would make breakfast so much easier for me. 

Plus, I lost a lot of weight as a teenager by replacing two meals a day with slimfast.  I kept it off for years and maintained my ideal weight until my parents got divorced (but that is another story for another day).  I really believe that if I could find a weight loss shake that I could tolerate I could really start to get this weight off.

So, if anyone has done Herbalife shakes could you share your experience with me please?   Thank you!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Great dojo day

It is snowing here in Pennsylvania and somehow that made the day at the dojo even better.  Thanks to Sensei and my husband, I got a lot of good help.  I have a lot of work to do.  I didn't even care about the 21 year olds-ha,ha.
Enjoy the snow everyone!

miracle repeated

I lost another pound.
Food journal is definitely a good thing!  I will probably stop weighing myself every day since that tends to make my thinking get obsessive.  But, it is nice to know that this seems to be working.

Today is a dojo day.  Excited and nervous. 
Hope you have a great day.

Friday, October 28, 2011

A miracle occurred in the last 24 hours

Now, don't ask me exactly how it happened because I have no idea.  But, somehow over the last 24 hours I lost 2lbs.  All I did differently was use a food journal.  I am not holding my breathe that this will be a continuing trend but we will see.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Sensei and Dr. Oz

My Sensei called today to make certain I watched the Dr. Oz show.  And, I am so glad that he did (thanks Sensei!!).

Dr. Oz had a great program today, the topic was how to diet for your body type.  He broke it down to two basic body types:  Large bottoms or Big Bellys.  I feel like I could easily fit into both categories but I think I am more of a Big Belly person.  He had very specific and diverse advice for both body types.  Click  here for nutrition advice.  Click here for exercise advise.

To sum up the advice here it is:  Big butts go low fat, Big Bellys go high fat, high protein, low carb.
Big butts become smaller by doing strength training (mostly lower body work).  Big Bellys need cardio.  But, please read the above links to get all the details.

The bigger issue for me was that I finally felt vindicated.  I feel that I have never really been able to commit to a high protein/low carb diet because I keep hearing some phantom food police in my head yelling at me for eating fat.  Low fat makes me feel ill to be honest (because without some fat in your diet you tend to replace the calories with carbs).  I know this is why I fail on Weight Watchers.  And, I have just felt like a failure due to my inability to eat low fat.  But, now I can replace that phantom food police's voice with Dr. Oz voice telling me I must eat fat and avoid carbs.  Thanks Dr. Oz!  Thanks Sensei!!

It is funny that this information came today because today is the day I started a new thing.  I decided that I have to keep a food journal.  I need some structure and a food journal would provide that.  I started writing everything down and started to feel that food guilt that comes from eating fat.  Especially since I had also started tracking my Weight Watchers points.  Now I think I will instead track calories. As well as cutting back on all carbs. Wish me luck that this will start the weight loss ball rolling.

On a totally random note, we are going to the dojo on Saturday to work out.  It is very exciting!! 
Hope you all are having  a great week.  And, thanks again Sensei!

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Finally a DVD I can do

I finally found a DVD that I can do without killing my knee.  It is Tae Bo "The Believers Workout".  Be forewarned, it heavy on the religious speak but if you can get past that (and maybe that works for you) it is easy on the knees and good for beginner to intermediate exercisers.  There are two of these DVD's.  One pictured above called "Strength Within"  and one called "Power Within".  They were distributed in 2003 so you have to buy them on places like Amazon.  On the upside, you can get them fairly cheaply.

This has been a pretty good week for me in terms of exercise and diet.  I have done well on both.  Sadly, that has not translated into any more weight loss.  Hmnnn.....

Have a great weekend!!!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

banging my head against the wall

I have been having pretty intense headaches from my sinus issues (so I am really glad I am getting that surgery done during the week of Thanksgiving).  Due to this over the last 48 hours, I haven't been so careful about my food choices.  I didn't eat a lot. I just ate exactly what I wanted.  More along the lines of how you are suppose to eat if you are following an intuitive eating plan.  Again, I didn't think about food or diet at all.  And, guess what?! I lost another 2lbs. 

What is the lesson learned here?  Well, it seems my hypothesis about not dieting seems to really be true.  For whatever reason being on a diet doesn't work for me.  I will be testing this hypothesis for a few more days to see if it continues to work for me.  Maybe I just need to focus on exercise and let the rest take care of itself?  I have been enjoying working on my stances and kata every day so maybe that is also part of the issue.   Guess I will have to wait and see.

Monday, October 17, 2011


After my last spiritual weight loss class (yeah, I get how silly that sounds but I am desperate) last Wednesday I decided to give up sugar.  So since Wednesday I haven't eaten sugar (except for a few sodas at dinner last night) and have only allowed myself  one carb per day.  I've also been really good about consistently eating healthy and appropriate portion sizes.  I've also been exercising every day.  The sum total of this has been zero results in terms of weight loss.

I am totally frustrated.  I have done ZERO emotional eating.  I have eaten nothing but healthy, boring food.  And, I have been so good about portion control.   It just doesn't make any sense. (but, hey, the spiritual weight loss class does seem to be helping on some level)

The question now is what do I do?  Maybe my anorexic woman family members are right,  maybe it is time to starve myself?  We will see.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sunday night

First of all, Amanda....all I can say is that I love you!!!  As always thank you for your support and great comments.

Just got back from dinner with Joe and his wonderful family. We had such a great time.  It was a great karate weekend.  Joe any time you want to work on kata (or anything else) you are ALWAYS welcome to come work out in our garage or as we call it "dojo lite". 

Thanks to everyone for their support.  Hope you all have a great week.

the little bastards

My husband thinks that I may have offended some by calling the 20 somethings at karate "little bastards".  If I have offended then I appologize. " Little bastard" is the term my father was called when he was a 20 something by an old guy he knew who was totally annoyed by my father's youthful vigor.  It is now the term my father calls younger men who can out hike or work him.  This is the only reason I called the 20 somethings that term.  It has everything to do with their youth and nothing to do with them as actual people.  The guys at the dojo seem  like nice enough people.
Hope this clears up any misunderstandsings.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

After the Dojo

Today was a pretty great day.  Getting to go to the dojo was wonderful.  It felt like I was home again.  But, it was also an eye opener. 

I have spent weeks and weeks reviewing kata I have know for years.  When I am home working out, my kata isn't bad.  In fact, I was feeling somewhat proud of the power and crispness I had in my moves.  But, today, in front a dojo full of  21 year old college guys, my form completely fell apart. I completely unraveled.  There I was -a 300 lbs., middle aged, matronly looking woman (who was the only person not wearing a gi/uniform because I've out grown mine) trying to remember the simplest of kata in front of these young kids.  Kids that never get tired, achy, stiff, and who are a third of my size.  They kept looking at me trying to figure out what I was doing there.  There were definitely moments when I was wondering the same thing about myself. 

But, I had to really remember why I was there.  The one thing I absolutely know about myself is that I love karate.  All the years I was sick and sitting on my sofa, all I kept thinking was when I get better I am going back to karate.  There was nothing else that I really cared about (with the exception of having a child).  So, now that I am over 40 and grossly overweight, I am not about to let a bunch of 21 year olds run me out of karate just because they make me feel old and embarressed (little bastards). 

On the plus side, Sensei gave me some things to work on.    It is great to have some guidance on how to start to improve.  I also have a fire in my belly, so to speak, to work harder and get better.  So thank you 21 year olds.  Thank you for getting me a little annoyed and angry.  That just makes me want to fight harder to get to my goals.  While getting to my goals might be easy when you are 21.  At 41, it is hard and it takes heart and soul to get to the finish line.  And, that is exactly what it takes to be a fighter and eventually a black belt!!! 
(but, they are still a bunch of little bastards)

Low carb-high fiber

I read this article and thought that it was very helpful so I am passing it along.
click here

Friday, October 14, 2011

10/14/2011 friday

Tomorrow my husband and I are dojo bound.  I am so excited. And, nervous....
The last time I really worked out at the dojo I was in my early 30's. A lot has changed since then.
But, we have been working our kata and I can honestly say that I am happy about how it is progressing. 

I have also been tweaking my diet a little with some success.  I am finding that limiting my carbs to one meal a day is really making a difference.  I still avoid grains, dairy, and gluten.  Anyway, I will write more about that later in the week.

Wish me luck tomorrow!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Dojo trip in 5 days

We made arrangements to visit the Dojo with our friend Joe this Saturday.  I have to say, I am so freaking excited that I could burst.  I am so excited to workout with the guys and see Sensei.  Thankfully Joe informed us that we can actual go in on Saturdays and workout at the Dojo for an hour.  Knowing that I can do that a few times a month is such a huge incentive to work harder to get back there full time.

If Sensei or Joe are reading this-can't wait to see you !!

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Lesson learned

I learned a valuable lesson this week.  During the last week I was really busy.  Too busy to worry about my diet.  Instead I just eat in a way that I knew would keep me healthy and feeling good (protein, veggies, some fruit, with the occasional fun food thrown in).  I exercised when I could and ate intelligently but I didn't think about dieting.  Instead I ran between doctor's appointments and worked on my jewelry (this time of year I bring in some extra money by making handmade jewelry and selling it at church holiday bizarres).

This morning I finally realized that I hadn't thought about my weight in a long time and jumped on the scale in a total panic.  I was down 6lbs.

Here is the lesson -I can't diet.  I know a lot of people do great on a formal diet.  If you are one of those people that is great!!  But, it doesn't work for me.  I grew up with a mother and grandmother who were ragging anorexics.  They filled my head with a million food rules-most of them totally wrong.  To this day I still kinda think the calories in pastry doesn't count as food as long as you don't eat anything else all day (yeah, my mom believed that and lived that).  She would get on me for eating protein but cookies didn't count as food with calories in it).  To counter all the crazy food rules I grew up with I have tried to educate myself about nutrition by reading every diet book that has been published since 1990.  If you have ever read a few diet books or tried at least three different diets,  you know that each diet has its own set of food rules and they all conflict with every other diet out there. So, after 20 years of reading diet books I have about a million conflicting rules in my head at given moment.  That is enough to drive you nuts.  But, when you just know makes you feel healthy and only eat when hungry and stop when full......well, that seems to be enough.

As for exercise, well I have the same problem.  While my mother and grandmother never exercised I have been researching that for 20 years as well.  All I did last week was kata.  Frankly, I really believe that kata is enough.  It is both a cardio exercise and weight bearing.  For now, kata is enough.

The moral of this story is listen to yourself and just do your best. Most of the time that is more than enough.

On a side note-
Gi are karate uniforms.  Tough to get one larger than a size 7 (that means about a size 20-22 in girl world)  But, there is one martial arts store in America that is making them up to a size 12 (not certain but maybe that is like a size 32 in woman's sizes).  The store is called Oddessy Martial Arts Supply.  Hope this helps someone somewhere :)

Thursday, October 6, 2011

The miracle I've been waiting for????

I have been having some sinus problems bad enough that my vision has been seriously effected this summer.  I didn't mention it before because
1) I always seem to have something wrong with me and it is annoying
2) I didn't think it was a big deal
3) I didn't think anything could be done about it.

Today I finally had to go to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor after some cat scans were taken of my head.  Turns out I need sinus surgery.  The doctor even said he thinks the situation is serious enough that it has been effecting my sleep and is the reason why I am overweight.  He thinks when I am healed up from the surgery and can breath again, my weight should go down.......

Yeah, that is prettty much too good to believe.  We will see what happens.
I'll let you know when I get a date for surgery. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Oct. 5, 2011

So, the quest continues......
my latest is that one of my friends convinced me that I should try this study that deals with over eating on a spiritual level.  So, I signed up for it and had the first class today.  I am not sure about this one.  Will keep you posted.......

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Leptin part 1

I had hoped to have time to write a great posting and all of the information I found out this weekend concerning Leptin. But, I am short on time this week. So, let me just briefly spell it out for you and hopefully later I can list some supporting evidence.

Leptin is a chemical that your fat cells release to tell your brain not to eat.  Just about all people who are over weight are "leptin resistant".  Similiar to insulin resistence, leptin resistince is when the brain is no longer able to pick up the leptin to recieve the message to stop eating.  They have found that this is the case in almost all over weight/obese people because of triglycerides in the blood stream (in fact one article stated you would have to be a very special case to be over weight and not have this issue).  Triglycerides apparently stop leptin from crossing the brain blood barrier and therefore leptin can't communicate with the brain.  So, if you are like me and always feel hungry and never feel satisfied from your food this is probably a major reason (although don't under estimate the power of emotional eating which has the same symptoms).

Now, triglycerides are part of the lipid (fat) panel your doctor should be testing every year along with things like good and bad cholesterol.  But, triglycerides don't come from eating too much fat instead they come from eating too many simple carbs and sugar.  Traditionally scientists thought that leptin resistance was caused by eating fatty foods but now that is starting to be disproved.  Now science seems to be realizing that a low carb diet works better on correcting the leptin/triglyceride issue.  This is why so many people who have used a low carb/paleo diet may have been able to stick with those diets because for the first time in a while the person wasn't raveneously hungry and was able to lower their calorie in take.

But, new information is starting to come out about how to deal with resetting your body to better deal with leptin.  This information suggests that moderately brisk exercise does a better job at healing leptin resistance than modifying food choices.  In an article I read over the weekend (I believe it was in "First for woman") it quoted some studies that found moderately brisk walks of 30 minutes or more, done five days a week, will correct this situation as well.

Why is this so important to me? 
1) I am always hungry which is really annoying.
2) Low fat diets only leave me starving and in a bad mood.
3) About a year ago I did kettlebell training which was amazing but it is a very high intensity workout that left me ravenious afterwards.  I believe it was just too tough of a training workout and instead of helping me lose weight I gained weight on it.  But, I still believed if you didn't kill yourself working out you were not doing enough.
4) this study gives me permission to just do walking or kata as my workout because I can still lose weight while not killing myself or increasing my apetite.

(I wrote this quickly and don't have time to really proof read it so hopefully it makes sense)

Saturday, September 24, 2011

piece of my puzzle

I don't have time to write a full blog now but I just ran across some research that I think is the missing part of my weight loss issue and will hopefully help some other people at the same time.  I hope to have it all written out by Monday.  Have a great weekend and see you Monday.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011


I iced my foot a lot yesterday, took a ton of advil, and stayed off of it in general.  Today that pain has gone away.  Thank God!  I am going to do that same protocol for one more day and return to exercise tomorrow. 

Getting yet another injury made me so depressed yesterday.  When you start to feel you are powerless to change your life for the better it can really knock you down emotionally.  I had a long think over all of this yesterday and here is what I figured out:

1)  I am putting so much pressure on myself that there is no way I can succeed.  Don't get me wrong, I desperately want to get the weight off, get back to the dojo, and try for a baby.  But, I have to get the "desperate" out of my life or nothing good will ever happen.  I literally find myself thinking about this issue all of the time and frequently have small panic attacks over it.  No good can come from being that worked up about anything.

2)  In speaking with one of my good friends named Dori, I got a great perspective on dieting.  She and I bonded years ago over our weight issues.  We have gone around the same moutain over and over again doing every diet known to mankind but never really gettting any weight off.  The thing that we both have had success in is having some faith and just focussing on fruits and vegtables.  We both have indiviually done really well when we make certain each meal is built around several servings of vegtables and having some fruit for a treat.  Doing that seems to take care of everything else.  She has been really focussed on this since doing a "diet free" workshop with the dietician named Zonya Focco.  Doris isn't worried about every aspect of that program.  All she is doing is focussing on fruit and vegtables and she has lost a ton of weight.  She kindly reminded me this morning that when I have done the same I have also lost a ton of weight. (side note-I am starting to not like the paleo movement.  It is starting to turn into a religion instead of just a way of eating.  And, now a lot of important people in the paleo community are saying to only eat meat and not to even eat vegtables.  I think that is nuts. So you decide how you feel on that issue.)

3) The only exercise that has never hurt me is doing kata.  Especially when I go through each punch, block, and kick as a warm up and then go through each kata.  That usually takes me about an hour to do.  So, I really think that is all that I am going to do for a while.  As I get stronger I will add more.  For right now I think that is enough.  And, at least, it is working towards my goal of getting back to the dojo.

To sum it all up, I am just trying to get the stress out of my life, make things simple, and just try to get healthy.  The rest will take care of itself.
Hope you are having a great day!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

9,000 steps forward, One major step back

I've been feeling pretty happy because I felt I was making some major progress with my walking.  That is until last night.  Injury strikes again.  The muscle that connects the front of your foot to your leg started giving me problem last night.  I was woken up all night with a seering, shoting pain that wouldn't stop.  It feels like an over use injury.  Which means somehow I hurt it yesterday while walking.

I am so frustrated.  I don't even know what to do at this point.  It makes perfect sense that a person over 300lbs. is going to hurt themselves when exercising but that I am doing it almost every week is beyond maddening.

It makes me think that what I need to do is count calories (or points on weight watchers, contrary to what I wrote yesterday) and just get off 30-40lbs. my cutting my food intake. Then start to work on exercise.  I honestly don't know which end is up so if you have any advice to offer I am totally up for hearing it.  Thanks!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Interesting article

This is a great article.  It explains the connection between blood sugar and sugar cravings/binges.


Just wanted to post my steps for the day 9306.  I will try to do this most nights now.  Hope you had a great day!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sept. 18, 2011

The great thing about having a blog this long is that I can go back and re-read it from time to time.  I've been thinking of revisiting Weight Watchers, that is until I re-read my experience with it in May.  Now, I am thinking that would not be the best move on my part.  Still thinking about just doing some general calorie counting for a few days just to check myself.

Although I am feeling extremely stressed out to get the weight off I am trying not to give into the stress.  I read a great article this week about how people tend to be more successful in their weight loss efforts if they just make small changes over time. Usually I do just the opposite.  I try to change everything all at once, get overwhelmed, and fail miserably.

Last week I started using my pedometer religiously and that has actually been the first really positive thing I have done in a while.  I love being able to track the number of steps I take.  It is so instantly gratifying.  So, that was the first small change I made that I was able to stick with.  Last week my step goal for each day was 8,000.  This week I am trying for 8,500.  I want to slowly build up each week so I don't blow out my knee.

The article I read (in this weeks Woman's World) listed four important steps to slowly impliment into your life in order to lose weight for the long term (apparently this is part of the "sparks people" website diet plan.  It is a free website if you are looking for a good weight loss program.  I personally know people who have lost a lot of weight using it).  The steps listed in the article are:

1) Start a food log-just by writing things down you will gradually start to make better choices and eating less.  So, there is no need to even get crazy about tracking calories or points at first.
2) Add "anti-hunger" food at each sitting-they said protein was the best "anti-hunger" food. (I know this to be true)
3) Eat five times a day-the article stated that research shows that people who eat at regular intervals have less hunger and slightly higher metabolisms.  This goes against what I have been doing which is trying to eat intuatively.  But, often I go too long without eating and then over eat due to being too hungry.  Thinking about giving this a try.
4)Add a little exercise-article stated that studies show that dieters who exercise lose about 3x's more weight than by diet alone.  Well, that is a nice thing to read but I was going to exercise anyway.

I have to really sit down with this information tomorrow and set up some small goals for myself for the next week.  More about that later.

Hope that you have a great week!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Blast for the not so distant past

Thanks to my Sensei for telling our friend Joe about this blog.  It has helped Joe and I reconnect and now we are forming an accountablility group for one another.  We are both working to get our black belts and get back into shape.  Joe has really been supportive and encouraging which has given me a big kick in the butt to get going again.  Thanks Joe!  Thanks Sensei!

On a little side note I just have to say how touched I am that the people from the dojo, some of whom I haven't seen for ten years, still care enough to reach out.  I have always said that the best people I have ever known were from the dojo.  Much of that is to Sensei's credit for creating a great enviroment at the school.  But, it is all just pretty amazing.

Anyway, I was glad I was about to get about 5-6lbs. off this week.  That small victory has made me really want to keep going with my weight loss.  I am thinking about breaking out my Weight Watchers information just to start tracking my food intake at home.  When I go to the meetings I tend to get obsessive.  But maybe if I just do it at home, for myself, I can be better balanced about the whole thing.  I am going to take tomorrow and really think about if I can do it or not.

Have a great Saturday night everyone!!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

I got the old computer to work so now I can do some blogging from home again.

Tuesday of this week was really a bad, bad day for me.  Here is why.  I mentioned that I was on a medication that required me to eat more to pad my stomach from its ill effects.  I also told you that I had gained quite a bit of weight from that but I never told you how much.  Today I feel emotionally prepared to share with you (writing that last line while laughing at myself).  On Tuesday I weighed 316lbs.  That hit me really hard.  But, I am glad to say that today my weight is going in a downward direction and today the scale read 311lbs.

What I have learned from this episode is a few key things:
1)Grains make me fat.  I had been eating rice crackers to calm my stomach down and I felt so bloated from them.
2)Milk products make me feel the same way.  I had been eating yogurt and cottage cheese to buffer my stomach as well.
3)Walking is enough to bring your weight down.  I was always a person who felt if you weren't killing yourself doing cardio you weren't doing enough. But, I have been just focusing on getting my steps in per day (that includes taking walks but also includes house cleaning, kata, & grocery shopping-every day "ambient activity") and that has been enough.

The equation seems to be lower carb diet (primal blueprint) and walking.  This week my knee has been hurting so I am not even pushing the walking that hard.  I have been averaging about 8,000 steps per day.  I am sure the amount it takes varies from person to person.  But, a pedometer is a great investment.

Have a great day!!!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Inspirational story

click here for story

I am posting the link to this story as I found it very inspirational.  This woman lost a massive amount of weight in just eight months by simply cutting back her food portions, eating healthier, and exercising. She didn't follow any specific diet plan!  She doesn't say exactly how much she lost but she does say she dropped 8 dress sizes in 8 months.  And, her starting weight was 218lbs. (a stone is equal to 14lbs.).

I've got my pedometer on this morning and as of 7:30a.m. I have about 500 steps in.  Trying to get my day organized to take a good, long walk.  And, I am able to blog this morning because my hubby left his laptop at home today!  Hope you are having a great day!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Joe part 2 & update

Joe, I definitely got the right person on facebook but originally I sent you an email.  But, as of tonight I have sent you a friend request.

Just a quick update:  So, I hurt my shoulder in March doing downward dog in yoga.  Over the holiday weekend my whole back started spasming from the injury. I went to my doc who put me on industrial strength advil.  That, in turn, had royally ripped up my stomach.  I started eating more to cushion my stomach from the advil (per the pharmacist).  Got up this morning and weighed myself.  I have gained a ton of weight back and I am now wicked pissed.  So, I stopped the advil (still had a week left on the prescription) and am doing everything I can get get this freaking weight off already.

Since I am injury prone at this point, all the exercise I can do (without injury) is walking, kata, and the boxing game on Wii.  I am now obsessing over the numbers on my pedometer.  I may start posting my numbers on a daily basis.  Today it was about 8500.  I have to work up to 10,000 slowly due to my knee.

I have a friend on facebook who lost a ton of weight doing two things:
1) walking at least 10,000 steps a day (every 2,000 steps is equal to one mile) but now she is up to 20,000 a day
2) kept her calorie in take to 1500.

this is basically where I am headed (while still eating per my paleo style of eating).  So stay tune as I do my best to get myself moving again!!  BTW-since my computer is totally down for the count I will be updating this page in the evenings (once my husband brings his laptop home from work) so look for updates after 7p.m. est.  Hope you are having a great day.  And, Joe please say hello to Sensei, Rob, and Keith for me :)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Joe, if you are out there please check your facebook account.  If you did not receive an email from me about this blog please let me know.  If you didn't then I messaged the wrong Joe.  Please leave a comment for me on this blog.  THANKS!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

I am still here

My laptop issues persist but I have stolen my husband's laptop in order to give you all a little up date. I am still working on my weight issues but trying to focus on exercise more than starving myself.  Got my husband on board with this whole thing and now we are working together to get our health back on track which is a huge help to me.  Thanks everyone for reading this.  I will post again this week.
Special thanks to Joe for reaching out to me.  Hopefully I found you on facebook (left you a little message in the last post's comment section).
Talk to you all soon!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

August 9, 2011

Sorry I've been gone for a while. My computer died and the one I am using now is very old and slow.  So, I will have to keep this short.  We have been having a very stressful few weeks.  Everything we own seems to have broken and now we have to get new ones....guess that is just how life goes sometimes.
But, I did find out that I only have an ovarian cyst and not anything more serious.  Thank God!  Sending good thoughts out to all of you who shared your cancer scares with me. Please keep me updated!!
I am still working on getting back to karate and getting my weight off.  Will go into more detail when my computer is up and running again.  Till then hope you are all doing OK!!!

Friday, July 29, 2011

July 29

Well, we still don't know what exactly is going on with my health.  But, I am starting to feel better.  One of the reasons for that is that I have been eating a lot of home made stir fries.  Lots of fresh vegetables, lean protein and a small amount of white rice.  I am starting to feel like a whole new person actually.

Starting next week I hope to be able to post a few recipes.  This way of eating can work for almost any diet with a few modifications (plus or minus some carbs).  And, it is pretty cost effective.

You know, I have tried a lot of things to lose weight since I started this blog.  One of the reasons why I wanted to start this blog was to track what works for me and what doesn't.  As you can tell, my health has been somewhat complicated the last few years and I am ready to be well now.

Over this weekend I am going to review the entries and come up with a new plan for myself.  On Monday I will post it.  I think I have figured out a successful combination for myself-finally!

Monday, July 25, 2011

July 25

Well, my posting has slowed down but that doesn't mean I am not still working on getting my weight down.  I am going through another health issue, this one  related to the last one.  I will tell you guys since none of you actually know me .....I am either pregnant,  have ovarian cancer, or an ovarian cycst.  My money is on the ovarian cycst.  (sorry if that is all too much info.  sometime you just have to call a spade a spade) But, we won't really know for another two weeks.  While my health is totally out of whack I am really not too worried about things.
The symptoms I am having are making lossing weight difficult.  But, I am still trying.  Exercise right now isn't too easy either.
I am really hoping that in another two weeks everything thing will be back to normal.  We will see.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Notes about diet

I have been struggling a bit trying to come up with menu items now since my food allergies have gotten out of hand  (time to start probiotics again).  What I am realizing is that vegetables are what is needed.  I am not allergic to them, they are wonderful nutrition, and they are low in calories.  So, my thoughts are that my diet will  mostly consist of stir fries.  This reminds me of when I was a kid and got sick all of the time from various foods (I was often hospitalized for food issues) and my father used to only make me stir fries to eat because it was all I could tolerate.  I am going back to that. In fact, I am going to embrace my love of all thing Asian-especially the food.

I must admit that I am more than frustrated lately.  I am desperate to get my weight off and be done with all of this. But, until I figure out what will and will not make me ill getting the weight off can only be a secondary issue.

Aside from food, I am really enjoying my Tai Chi practise.  It is a great warm up to kata.  And, I think it is helping my kata also. 

Hope you are some where nice and cool!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

What I learned today

I learned two things today:

1) While most people with gluten issues can eat corn there are a few gluten sensitive people who can not tolerate corn gluten.  I am now in that category.  I should not have been eating the tortilla chips that we keep in the house for my husband but I didn't have any of "my food" in the house and I was gave into temptation.   For the last 2-3 weeks I have been doing this on a somewhat regular basis and now I am sick as a dog. It took me a little while to put it all together.  I never knew that corn gluten can cause a bad reaction.  After some research I finally figured it out.  This might explain the health problems I have been having lately and the stall on my weight loss.

2)I did too much Tae Bo yesterday and threw my back out. As odd as this sounds, Tae Bo hurt by back but when I do as much kata (let's say an hours worth or so) I never have this issue.  So, I guess I will just have to stick with kata.  Sensei always said kata was more than enough to get into shape.  So, that is what I will do.

Overall this has been a crap day.  Hope your day was much better!!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

July 12, 2011

Quick check in:
did Tae Bo (which included some pushups)
Started the day with a new Tai Chi DVD that I am really loving.  It is from a west coach teacher named
Matthew Cohen.
Hoping to do some Kata tonight with my husband.
And, have listened to my Paul Mckenna CDs.

Hope you are having a great day!

Monday, July 11, 2011

July 11, 2011

Just a quick update.  Been doing my Tae Bo DVD and working on not eating too much.  Things are going well.  I also think I convinced my husband that he should be working on kata with me after dinner every night.  I think I also convinced him that he needs to get back to karate as much as I do.  So, hopefully that will be a fun thing we can start to do together instead of sitting on the sofa after dinner watching TV and playing games on facebook......
Sensei always said if you weren't at karate in the evenings you would fill your time up with much less productive stuff.  Well, we certainly have!

Friday, July 8, 2011

update and new find!

OK, I know that occasionally I go through these very quiet times on this blog.  I have been battling a medical issue that comes and goes.  When I go quiet it is due to dealing with it. I get so frustrated that I am not making progress that I just go quiet.  The health issue is related to my weight but, not caused by it.  I am so fed up with having health issues.  I will get this weight off if only to live happily again!!  But, I am going to get my black belt too!!!

While I have been sick the last two weeks I have not weighed myself.  From the way that my clothes are fitting I would say that I have not gained anything but probably haven't lost anything either.  I am still listening to Paul Mckenna's I Can Make You Thin CD's daily.  It is really changing the way I look at a lot of things in my life.  I highly suggest them to anyone!

I've also been looking for a good exercise DVD that I could do on a daily basis.  I have been looking for one for three months now.  The problem is that I need something that is a good workout but at my current fitness level and doesn't hurt my knee.  Well, I finally found one!!  This is a little embarrassing but I will share anyway.  It is a postnatal exercise DVD by Tae Bo.

It is low impact so no harm is done to my knee.  It is paced for people just getting back into working out.  And, it is broken up into five 10 minute long segments:
1)Get Moving -light cardio
2)Core and Abs
3)Upper body
4)Lower body

This is great because you can mix things up depending on your needs.  The whole DVD is about 60 minutes long.  The instructor is Billy Blank's daughter, Shellie Blanks Cimarosti, who amazingly gave birth only 10 weeks before the filming of this DVD.  But, just ignore all the pregnancy talk and focus on working out.  This DVD has given me some renewed hope of developing a steady daily routine for myself.
So, I hope you are all doing well.  I will be checking in again soon!!

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Be water my friend ....or a Rhino

Does anyone remember when Bruce Lee was on the Dick Cavett show telling people to be like water?  It is a quote my husband and I toss around a lot as a joke.  It is our way to reminding one another to be inspired to obtain our goals.  OK, maybe it is a bit of an in joke between the two of us but you get the idea.

One thing my karate instructor always emphasised was goal setting.  This is not a strength of mine. I try to set goals and stayed focused but I get swayed by everyone else around me.  It is really easy to put your goals aside when your family/friends need things.  I find myself at the bottom of the list on a daily basis and we don't even have children.  Not sure how this always seems to happen.  But, I realize it is a flaw that I have to change.  I have the impression people think I forget about my goals or that I don't really want to achieve them. That is not the case at all.  I just find myself getting caught up in people pleasing instead of helping myself.  It is a bad, bad habit that gets me no where.

The other day our local TV station (WPVI) aired a segment during the news about Rhino Living.  I watched and was a bit intrigued.  Rhino Living is a goal setting system that a very successful Philadelphia businessman has created for himself and is now sharing it with others.  It is really pretty simple and common sense but it does help create and maintain your focus to get to a goal.  The creator, a man named Dave Magrogan, so believes in this method that he allowed the TV station to put an ebook about it up for free.

Here is a link to watch the clip my local news did on it
Here is where you can access the free ebook

My husband and I are working through the ebook.  It includes some pretty good information.  And, I am hoping it helps me zero in on my goals and stop going with the flow of other people's life so much. I want to stop being so much like water and much more like a Rhino!
I am hoping this helps you get to your goals!!

Friday, July 1, 2011

Quick update

Sorry I have been kinda quiet this week. Been busy running around taking care of business. Things are still going really well and next weekend is my next scheduled weigh in and I have high hopes for it.  I am still using Paul McKenna's "I can make you thin" program in order to get the hang of portion control while eating Primally by choice. 
Have a great weekend and Happy 4th of July!!!

Monday, June 27, 2011

June 27, 2011

This weekend went so well.  I was able to follow the Paul McKenna "I Can Make You Thin"  eating principles without any problems.  Normally weekends are my down fall but this weekend I couldn't make  myself over eat.  I now have a total aversion to that feeling of being full.  Thank you Mr. McKenna!!

We even got food from P.F. Chang (they have a great gluten free menu).  Normally I would have eaten my full order.  But, this weekend I could only eat part of it.  I did enjoy some rice with my meal trying to test out my new rice theory.  While I do think it is fine to occasionally eat rice, it also made me feel slightly ill.

As for my push ups.....
Every Monday on the "Evil Russian Push up Program"  you test  yourself, doing as many push up as you can until failure.  Last week I did 7.  Today I did 15. I know my numbers are low but at least I more than doubled the amount I could do and that feels like real progress!!

This week I am looking forward to just continuing my forward progress.  Hope you are doing well!!

Friday, June 24, 2011

June 24, 2011

I am happily reporting another day of success with the Paul McKenna "I Can Make You Thin" system!  I am still feeling totally shocked by how much less food I am consuming and how much less I am thinking about food in general.  It truly feels like freedom!!!

I am also shocked by how much I want to exercise.  I did so many push ups yesterday that I woke up in the middle of the night in agony -but in a good way!!  And, I was very active all day with out really thinking about it.

Best of all, yesterday was a very emotional day in our house over some family issues.  Never once did I think about eating in order to soothe those emotions.  I didn't even eat chocolate once yesterday.  That is a huge victory for me.  So, I am feeling very pleased with the results so far.

On a related note, I have been basically eating with in the range of Paleo approved foods with doing the system.  The systems says that you can eat anything as long as you are actually hungry.  It is normal for me to only really want to eat Paleo foods.  But, I am questioning the whole rice issue. 

Brown rice is an intestinal irritant.  Not a Paleo approved food.  Yes, it has more nutrients going into your body but it does enough damage in the intestines and other parts of the body that it is not worth eating it.  But, white rice doesn't have those issues.  The parts that make rice brown have been removed and are no longer a problem for the body to break down.  This is why you give babies white rice formula when they have been ill. This is also , seemingly, why after I have had food poisoning (which I get about 3-4 times a year to varying degree due to Celiac's disease) the only thing I want to eat for days afterwards is white rice.  It is safe from food born pathogens and a non-irritant to the system, allowing me to safely heal.  See, the body is very intuitive if you will listen to it!

But, all grains are bad according to the Paleo world.  Or, are they?  Here is an article about the topic that has me really rethinking things:

I will let  you read it and make the decision for yourself.  Please feel free to leave a  comment and/or have a discussion on the issue.  Thanks!!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

quick item

So, I accidentally weighed myself this morning.  How does that happen you ask?  Well,  I am just in the habit of weighing myself before my morning shower and I did so this moring before realizing I shouldn't.  My shower was late in the morning after exercise and a meal.  My weight was still down 1lbs. from yesterday.  I am surprised and happy.
I am also happy with how positive my mindset is lately.  I did a lot of exercise this morning not even thinking about it.  I just wanted to do a Leslie Sansone DVD, push ups, and kata.  Can't beat that!

June 23,2011

Yesterday was day 2 of using the Paul McKenna "I Can Make You Thin" system.  I have to say it went really well.  Again I only ate a quarter of what I normally would.  I was also able to restart my push up program and work on kata. 

The best part is that I am not thinking about food except when I am hungry.  Being able to do that relieves all that stress and angst I normally have over food.  That is a good feeling.

The funny thing is that yesterday I realized that I use dieting to distract myself from some other issues in my life.  It is so much easier to worry about your weight than what is going on with your career, family, or other areas of your life.  Realizing that was a total shock to me and woke me up to my life in a way I haven't been before.  So, now I have some work to do on my life that has nothing to do with dieting.  Isn't that way with life, if it is not one thing it is another......

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Quick morning update

I will be writing more about the Paul McKenna "I Can Make You Thin" system in future posts.  But, for today it is enough to know that after one day it seems to be helping me make progress.  I did remarkably well with it yesterday.  I was able to eat a quarter of what I normally eat and still feel quite satisfied.  It was totally remarkable to me how much less food I could eat and not feel hungry or obsessed over food like I do when I diet.  According to the system you should not weigh yourself more than once every two weeks.  Well, I cheated and weighed myself today and I am down 2lbs. since yesterday.  But, I won't be weighing myself again for two weeks now.
What I am determining is that your body really does know what it is doing. You just have to listen to it.  This system does seem to be able to help you hear your body cues.  And, I also feel that if I could master this system I could literally eat like this for the rest of my life and never have a weight problem again. 
Wish me luck!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Happy Summer! Behave your way to success...

I found the above article really interesting!  This explains why so many of us fail at weight loss.  At the end of the article it does say that we can try to change how our brain signals hunger:

"Although we may be born with a genetic predisposition for a large appetite, we can retrain the brain and teach ourselves to eat smaller portions and not snack,’ says Professor Zammit.

‘Obviously it takes great effort — the first day would be horrendous and the next few weeks very difficult but eventually we’d get used to it as the brain would make new connections."

Now it doesn't give specifics, I am assuming what the doctor is suggesting to listening to hunger and full signals and then eating a much smaller amount than you normally would.  I highly suggest you read the entire article.

It is funny that I found this article today because it is exactly in line with what I have been thinking about all weekend.  I am coming to believe my weight issue is not a product of the foods I consume (although I will never go back to eating gluten or grains), I believe it is my behaviors around food.  And, that leads me away from dieting and towards intuative eating techniques.

I notice that most of the time I eat the right things.  Believe it or not I am one of those weird people who literally craves different vegetables and lean proteins.  I don't get too many junk food cravings.  My husband often laughs at me because I will say to him I am craving tomatoes today or broccoli.  But, my problem does seem to be that when I am eating I am totally unaware of actually eating. I just eat as quickly as possible and don't even remember tasting my food. 

Years ago I purchased Paul McKenna's "I Can Make You Thin".    It contains a book that explains how to intuitive eat and hypnotic CD's that reinforce the ideas.  The system does work.  I personally know people who have lost like 100lbs. on it.  My problem is that it involves being actively involved in the daily eating process which I have not previously been that emotionally committed to.  But, I am now committing myself to trying this 100%. We will see how it goes (BTW-QVC has this on sale right now.  I am not affiliated with QVC in any way except that I live near the studio and am a frequent customer)

So, that is where I am at right now.  Please let me know how you are doing!!