Friday, September 28, 2012


This week was difficult for me because I was sick as a dog all week. Today is the first day that I am starting to feel well again.  I was just thinking back on this week and realized some huge positives:

1)  Even though I have been very sick this week I still finished my T-Tapp boot camp, took one day off, and started exercising again right on schedule.

2)  Even though I have been ill, I pretty much kept to my diet but when I didn't instead of beating up on myself and going totally off the rails, I just got right back on track.

3)  Due to my boot camp I am feel really healthy (even with a health problem) and I am noticing that my physical abilities are increasing.  I can do more, have more energy, and am increasing my workouts.

4) My jeans are getting big on me.

5)  Best of all, because I can do the T-Tapp exercises without hurting myself (so I can be consistent), I am really getting into working out again.  Due to this I am starting to feel hopeful that some day I will get back to the dojo.  Dare I say I almost have some confidence that if I keep being consistent with diet and exercise I will get back there!

So, even though I was pretty sick this week it was still a great week.  Hope you also had a great week!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Good article on how to lose weight

I just read this article on line about how to lose weight.  It was written by a person who creates nutrition plans for Beach Body workouts.  It is simple and to the point.  This is what I am trying to do and it seems to be working.  Hope that you enjoy it!!

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

keeping track

Just a quick entry tonight.  Tonight is the end of my 14 day boot camp using the T-Tapp DVDs. I made a lot of progress this time.  I believe this is due to having less glycogen in my body since I don't eat sugar any more.  There are very big difference in my body size and how it is functioning in the last two weeks (have been advised my a T-Tapp trainer to wait 2 days to measure since muscles swell from the workout).  Today was also my 20th day in a row of consistent exercise  I know this because I now keep track on a calender of every day I workout.  I am finding that keeping careful records of these kind of things actually helps to motivate me to work harder. 

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Sept. 22 2012-week in review

Week in review:
I've have had a great week!  My weight is still down.  I have been very consistent with my exercise.  I am on day 10 of a 14 day T-Tapp boot camp.  I have been pretty consistent with my food as well. My weight loss is s-l-o-w but it is still going down.  Maybe I have finally gotten a good equation going on what I need to do in order to lose weight?

Going forward:
I haven't discussed karate much lately.  There is a reason for that.  Because my weight loss efforts go so slowly I start to really develop a negative attitude about my future in the martial arts.  By now, a year and a half into my weight loss journey, most people would have most of their weight off .  Right now, I only have a total of  22 lbs. down over all.  That is not enough weight to be noticed on the frame of someone my size.  And, it doesn't even get me under the 300lbs. mark (although I soon could be there).  My weight is not lost in a straight forward manner.  I lose 3lbs.  I gain back 2lbs. only to then lose 4lbs more the next day. 

The hardest part of a weight loss journey for me is keeping a positive mind set.  On the Monday night's, when I attend Tai Chi, keeping a positive mind set is particularly tough.  Walking into a room full of 20 somethings is tough. It reminds you of everything you are not.  I remember when I was in my 20's there were a few middle aged woman who came through the dojo and all of them told me they were leaving karate because it was too intimidating and embarrassing for them to workout with a bunch of young guys.  I get that feeling now.

Problem is if I keep allowing that attitude to prevail I will never get to my goal.  So, I am going to suck it up and get my butt back to the dojo on Monday nights.  Hopefully, if I keep going eventually it will lead me back to regular classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wednesday, Sept. 19, 2012

In my last post I described my battle with that negative voice in my head.  Certainly, we all have that irritating voice we have to battle against.  Hopefully, I am starting to learn to not give in to it.  And, my reward is that I've last another pound or so.  Now I just have to keep going about another 150 times.

Monday, September 17, 2012

Attitude is everything

I am doing everything right.  Eating right, exercising, being consistent and persistent.  But, out of no where, my attitude will suddenly go down hill.  That is what I am battling today.

It seems that my mind is my biggest battlefield.  I start to hear a voice in my head saying things like, "You have so much weight to lose that there is NO way  you will never lose it.  Plus even if you lost 2 lbs. a week it would still take you over a year to even get close to where you want to be.  And, then you still wouldn't be to your goal.  Why don't  you just give in and give up? There is ice cream in the freezer......."

I am not giving into that voice.  But, I really wish it would freaking go away already!!!

Friday, September 14, 2012

Friday update

Since deciding to not stress over my weight this week, things have gone well.
I am still down that initial 4lbs.
I've exercised more this week than ever.
I feel pretty happy.

The challenge this weekend will be to continue with my healthy eating habits (the husband has been warned...) as well as get more exercise in.  I am on day 2 of another T-Tapp 14 day boot camp.  With my husband home this weekend I hope to do a lot of work on kata (It is good to live with someone who can review your work).  If I can get those things (healthy eating, T-Tapp, and kata) accomplished I will be very happy with the weekend.

Hope that you have a great weekend!!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Anxiety, the diet killer

I have just had yet another experience in which I thought I was unable to lose weight (even while doing everything right) but then I let go of my diet anxiety and the weight dropped off.

Last week I just felt so much anxiety about my weight.  I literally became obsessed with trying to find the right diet.  This anxiety gets produced in me because I keep thinking about how much weight I have to lose and how many years it will take me to get back to taking classes at the dojo.  I start to feel like I've had 5 cups of espresso coffee all of the time.  I panic thinking that I am wasting time getting back to martial arts.

Tuesday I finally said enough to myself.  I can't live this way any more.  I worked on distracting myself and just calming down.  The next day I woke up and weighed myself as usual and I was down 4lbs.  I thought it might be a mistake but I weighed myself again this morning and those 4lbs. were still gone.

Anxiety is the issue

I want more than anything to have this weight off and be back at the dojo. I love karate.  I love the dojo. And, I often feel like I am letting Sensei down by not being able to drop my weight more quickly.   But, I have to once and for all accept that this weight loss journey isn't going to happen over night.  I can't take shortcuts.  I have to do this the long, proper way.  For now, I am going to have to be happy with taking Tai Chi on Monday nights and just accept this as the way it is for a while.  Nothing is worth the way I have been feeling for the last year and a half  regarding getting the weight off.  And, continuing to allow myself to have diet anxiety will only stop my potential weight loss.

So from here on out, I am just going to do my best and not stress about it.  The weight will take whatever time it takes to come off.  And, that is all I can do. 

Monday, September 10, 2012

Hope delayed

Used the treadmill at our gym on Saturday.  My knee has been hurting ever since.  Trying to quit the gym now.  No point in spending all that money to keep hurting myself.  Back to the drawing board.

Friday, September 7, 2012

more hope

I picked up the book "Metabolic Effect Diet" yesterday and have read about 50% of the book.  It is a good book and interestingly it fits in with a lot of what I have been doing so far.  I would recommend the book to anyone.  The advice is solid and interestingly works well with a Paleo based diet.

The book basically has a questionnaire that helps you identify what kind of metabolism you have.  There are three types: sugar burner, mixed burner, and muscle burner.  If you have ever read any of Gillian Michaels' books she has the same three types of metabolism listed but calls them by different names.  According to this book, I am a sugar burner.  Basically my body burns through sugar too fast which creates craving for more sugar.  But, really if I eat less sugar/more protein the cravings stop and my body works better (yup!).  So, all of this I have known for a long time.  The diet laid out in the book  for my type is just like the Primal Blueprint books diet with one or two tweaks.  They deal with carb and fat intake slightly differently.

What I believe is the best part of the book is the exercise advice.  This is where I have been failing in my opinion.  They suggests sugar burners walk daily 15,000-20,000 steps per day and around 30 minutes.  Usually 2,000 steps is considered a mile.  So, they are telling me I should try to walk between 7 1/2 to 10 miles a day.  Now I have a bad knee so walking outside is hard for me.  Usually I do best, at this weight, walking on a treadmill.  Our treadmill died a while back.  But, today I am joining a gym so I can get my steps per day!!!  I am really excited about this.  A very affordable gym opened up a mile from our house.  I am just really excited to get on a treadmill, with my ipod on, and walk all those steps.

This is just a very brief description of what is in the book.  It is a great book.  And, it made me feel better about what I should be doing.  But, I think there is one last piece of the puzzle and that is my attitude.

I literally feel so stressed out about getting the weight off that I feel like I've had 5 cups of espresso coffee almost all of the time.  I obsess about getting the weight off and if  I am doing enough to get it off, just about every minute of every day.  Tuesdays and Thursday nights are the worst since that is when my husband goes to karate and I stay behind.  I just keep thinking how far away I am from getting to my goals and I just completely stress out.  My husband pointed out to me yesterday that all that stress is producing adrenaline which could be the "hormone imbalance"  that my doctor was trying to describe.  The proof for this are the few times I have been really relaxed about weight loss (like after my sinus surgery last year).  During these times I gave myself permission to relax and the weight just came off without effort.  It is time for me to relax and just trust in the process.  Wish me luck with that!

Thursday, September 6, 2012


I am one of those woman who just loves her "First for Woman magazine".  It was an article in this magazine that helped me to explain to the doctors five years ago what symptoms I was having that lead to being diagnosed with Celiac disease.  So, I found it really interesting today when I was at the store and the new edition of the magazine was out.  On the cover it said, "Drop 3 Inches of Belly Fat Every Week...".  I didn't buy it for that reason since I just always buy it.  But, I did take a moment to read the article.

I was surprised when I started reading the article because it started describing my exact issue.  It described how some woman (and men) who are desperately trying to lose weight but are not having any success.  It gave the example of woman who dropped their calories down to 1200 a day and still can't get the weight off (I wrote about me doing this around April or May.  I didn't lose any weight even at that level).  The problem according to the article is that your hormones are messed up (hmnnn....isn't that what my doctor told me this week).  The hormones that this article is referring to are not ones we commonly think of like estrogen, testosterone, or progesterone.  Instead, the hormones are ones like ghrelin, leptin, cortisol, or insulin.  Leptin is the specific one mentioned in this article.

The article then stated you had to figure out what kind of fat you have on your belly.  Either you have jiggly fat or hard belly fat.  It went on to define those kind of fats:

Jiggly Belly Fat
-When you lie flat on your back, your belly shifts to the side.
-You have fat on your hips, thights and butt that you can grab and move around

Hard Belly Fat
-When you lie flat on your back, your belly fat doesn't shift to the side.
-You have a waist circumference of 35 inches or larger (measure around your navel).

It then goes on to describe a low carb eating plan tailored to each type of fat.  This is all based on the book "The Metabolic Effect Diet" by Jade Teta, N.D.

  The article also suggeted some suppliments like green tea to help speed fat loss.  The low carb program doesn't seem to contradict anything I am doing now except that it is a lot more strict than what I have been doing.  I am more than willing to step things up if it means I can get the weight off.  I am going to get the book in the next day or so.  I will write more about this as soon as I can.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Good news!

Saw my doctor today. I don't need surgery on my hernia. Just some rest and then I can get back to normal. Also, he felt I may never need an operation on it since it is a navel hernia and not one that is lower on the body. Very exciting!

While I was at the doctors I discussed my difficulty losing weight. He strongly suggested that I get a gastric by-pass. He said that he feels my hormones are totally messed up and that is why my weight won't come off no matter how low I drop my calories. And, he said that gastric by-pass seems to correct that for people almost immediately. During the surgery they take out that first part of the intestines.  The first section of your intestines create both diabetes and Celiac disease. It cures many people of their diabetes within hours of the operation. Wonder if it would cure my Celiac disease? At any rate, my husband is 100% against it. I would feel like I didn't work hard enough if I got the gastric by-pass. I know that it is not an easy way out. I am definitely not saying that people who have gotten the operation have an easy time of it. I just feel I should keep trying until I find the answer on my own.

If you have any opinions on gastric by-pass I would LOVE to hear them. Thanks!

Sunday, September 2, 2012


     Back in 1997, during my first year of karate, I was being taught a move that is called something like "a front jump roll".  It is sorta a gymnastics move that involves going head first over an obstacle and then rolling head over feet.  Well, even at about 150lbs. less in weight back then I wasn't too great at these kind of moves. While trying to learn this move I ripped up my stomach muscles and created a hernia in my stomach. 

     Since the initial pain of that injury 15 years ago, I've had a large hernia in my stomach (literally the size of a softball) but it has never hurt me.  I just blissfully ignored it.  That is until last night.

     Last night we had a small house fire.  It is a long story but everything is fine.  During the cleaning up process there was so much smoke in the house that I kept coughing like crazy.  Apparently that did something to the hernia and now it is really hurting me.  I spoke with my doctor and he said he felt that maybe I should actually go to the hospital today to get it checked out.  But, since the pain is bearable and since I am nauseous but not throwing up, it is OK to wait until the office re-opens on Tuesday to see a doctor.

     So, as the doctor told me there is probably another operation in my future. It is also upsetting me that I am really not able to move too much right now since movement hurts me. And, because further movement may "stangulate the hernia" and then I would need emergency surgery.  I am feeling very frustrated.  This just seems like one more set back.  But, I will persevere!!!!