Thursday, September 13, 2012

Anxiety, the diet killer

I have just had yet another experience in which I thought I was unable to lose weight (even while doing everything right) but then I let go of my diet anxiety and the weight dropped off.

Last week I just felt so much anxiety about my weight.  I literally became obsessed with trying to find the right diet.  This anxiety gets produced in me because I keep thinking about how much weight I have to lose and how many years it will take me to get back to taking classes at the dojo.  I start to feel like I've had 5 cups of espresso coffee all of the time.  I panic thinking that I am wasting time getting back to martial arts.

Tuesday I finally said enough to myself.  I can't live this way any more.  I worked on distracting myself and just calming down.  The next day I woke up and weighed myself as usual and I was down 4lbs.  I thought it might be a mistake but I weighed myself again this morning and those 4lbs. were still gone.

Anxiety is the issue

I want more than anything to have this weight off and be back at the dojo. I love karate.  I love the dojo. And, I often feel like I am letting Sensei down by not being able to drop my weight more quickly.   But, I have to once and for all accept that this weight loss journey isn't going to happen over night.  I can't take shortcuts.  I have to do this the long, proper way.  For now, I am going to have to be happy with taking Tai Chi on Monday nights and just accept this as the way it is for a while.  Nothing is worth the way I have been feeling for the last year and a half  regarding getting the weight off.  And, continuing to allow myself to have diet anxiety will only stop my potential weight loss.

So from here on out, I am just going to do my best and not stress about it.  The weight will take whatever time it takes to come off.  And, that is all I can do. 

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