I have just had yet another experience in which I thought I was unable to lose weight (even while doing everything right) but then I let go of my diet anxiety and the weight dropped off.
Last week I just felt so much anxiety about my weight. I literally became obsessed with trying to find the right diet. This anxiety gets produced in me because I keep thinking about how much weight I have to lose and how many years it will take me to get back to taking classes at the dojo. I start to feel like I've had 5 cups of espresso coffee all of the time. I panic thinking that I am wasting time getting back to martial arts.
Tuesday I finally said enough to myself. I can't live this way any more. I worked on distracting myself and just calming down. The next day I woke up and weighed myself as usual and I was down 4lbs. I thought it might be a mistake but I weighed myself again this morning and those 4lbs. were still gone.
Anxiety is the issue.
I want more than anything to have this weight off and be back at the dojo. I love karate. I love the dojo. And, I often feel like I am letting Sensei down by not being able to drop my weight more quickly. But, I have to once and for all accept that this weight loss journey isn't going to happen over night. I can't take shortcuts. I have to do this the long, proper way. For now, I am going to have to be happy with taking Tai Chi on Monday nights and just accept this as the way it is for a while. Nothing is worth the way I have been feeling for the last year and a half regarding getting the weight off. And, continuing to allow myself to have diet anxiety will only stop my potential weight loss.
So from here on out, I am just going to do my best and not stress about it. The weight will take whatever time it takes to come off. And, that is all I can do.