Wednesday, February 15, 2012

insight over cake

My husband did something pretty romantic for valentines day.  He went to the bakery that made our wedding cake and ordered me a lovely gluten free cake.  It was beautiful and it tasted amazing.  But, now I am sick as a dog from it.  This is happening more and more often to me.  I can't eat grains and sugar seems to be making me really ill all the time as well.

This brings back two very distinct memories for me.  The first is from when I was about 4 yrs old and in a hospital.  My mother had given me an ice pop one day and I passed out, went into convulsions, and woke up in a hospital hours later.  The doctors really didn't understand what was wrong with me but all they could tell my parents was that I had some sort of problem with sugar and not to feed it to me any more.  Thus began the next 15 years of my life literally not eating sugar except when I could sneak it without my parents knowing.  Most people binge drink in college.  I ate sugar coated cereal because that seemed like the more taboo thing to do.

The next memory is from my late 20's.  I was newly married and still doing karate.  My weight was starting to get totally out of control and I felt terrible all of the time.  I was going from doctor to doctor trying to find out what was wrong.  Most of the doctors were total jerks since they could not figure out what was wrong with me.  One of the doctors I went to was an endocrinologist.  He was a jerk as well.  But, at the very end of the visit he looked at me and said something went like this:
There are woman like you who get sick all of the time and gain weight and we in the medical profession have no idea why. Don't quote me on this but your only hope is doing something like the Atkins diet.
He then literally ran out of the room with my mind spinning.

Back to present day and this morning I am feeling like I will pass out from the cake.  The room is spinning off and on and I am actually having some trouble standing up (yet, somehow I can write-go figure).  I know that Celiac disease and Diabetes go hand and hand.  Taking my weight out of the equation, the best I ever feel is when I eat a Paleo based diet.  Protein, fats, veggies, very little fruit, and very little starchy carbs.   Today I am realizing that my health has to be more important than my weight.

I have to stop eating sugar.  I just have to accept this about myself.
I have to eat fats and protein.  Yes, I know many of you are from the old school of low fat eating.  That only makes me feel ill.  So, if you are a friend of mine please keep your opinions to yourself and do some reading on the new thinking in nutrition regarding fats.

Once I get myself feeling well again I will worry about my weight. Perhaps then I will be able to track calories but that won't happen for a few days.
It is just time for me to wake up and realize that something is going on here!

This article just came to my attention from a friend on facebook.  In it the scientist who wrote "The Runners Bible" is now telling people not to eat carbohydrates.


  1. There are some blogs I read that are part of the Health at Any Size movement, and the premise of this practice, as I understand it, is just what you've said: health is not a number on a scale. I think engaging in habits that work for your own unique body's health is the best thing anyone can do. You may want to Google "Ragen Chastain" -- she's an extremely outspoken proponent of HAES, and you may find much of the information on her blog helpful.

    I'll admit some frustration with your not being permitted to fully participate at the dojo due to your weight. Activity is important for anyone of any size, and consistent intelligent activity is going to lessen a person's chance of injury rather than increase it. Granted it's been years since I've been involved in the martial arts, but I wish your Sensei would consider rethinking his stance.

    You do what's right for YOU, movement-wise and dietarily, what makes YOU healthy. And if friends don't respect your choices... well, they may not have been the greatest of friends in the first place.

  2. Amanda, thank you so much for your support. You can not imagine what your words have meant to me. One way or another I will get healthy and get back to karate. Thank you!!!!!

  3. You bet! I've actually been thinking I should mention HAES to you for a few days, so I'm glad you wrote today's post. The scale is not the arbiter of your health. Only you can determine what that is -- keep us posted, please! :)